When you work in ministry, you find that loss is a unique and regular part of your days. Losing loved ones calls for the comfort of pastors and churches and the reminder that we have much to look forward to when we leave Earth. While I never dealt with loss in my prior careers in banking or education, I certainly do now. And I’ve come to appreciate it a great deal. Nothing has the urgency and power to remind you of your present blessings like reflecting on what can be lost in an instant.
Nearly four years ago, my grandfather passed away and it was my first major loss. He was someone I knew well, someone that I had made memories with, and I was old enough to understand the poignancy of losing him. Since his death was not sudden or unexpected, I had the added experience of watching him slowly fade away, making it all the more heart wrenching. Y’all know how tough that can be. On the day he was moved into the hospice home, I remember being struck by how many lasts my grandfather must have been processing. The last time he slept in his bed, the last time he showered at home, the last time he dressed himself, the last time he rode in a car, the last time he went outside, the last time he saw his house. To bid farewell to what was and embark on a journey of ‘lasts’, to officially and forcefully close a chapter of your life and face the ending of it, is something I can’t begin to wrap my simple mind around. There must have been moments when he wondered if it was the last time he’d wake up to greet the morning or eat breakfast or see the setting sun. I take all those things for granted so often. We operate under this assumption that the supply is endless, but they are all dependent on the number of days we receive.
This week, our church experienced plenty of loss, with several funerals. Each funeral means that we say a temporary goodbye to a member of our forever family. And it means that their loved ones experience the crushing weight of loss too. Having someone at one point in time and then not at all, whether sudden or expected, is a massive thing for our psyches to process. It aches, it depletes us, it comes with waves of emotions that are raw and overwhelming. Caring for people in that delicate season of life is an astounding privilege, giving us the opportunity to be near the brokenhearted, just as Father God is.
Being a Jesus girl, I think of death as the much-anticipated call for those who love Him to go home. And what a home it is. There is a sentiment we sometimes say, ‘Home is where the heart is.’ What we mean is that if you strip away all the trappings of a ‘home’, all the creaky beds and cozy kitchen tables and doors and well-worn rugs and fading wallpaper, you’re left with the people inside of it. All the good and bad memories, and the perfected rhythms of daily life that are so unique to our own little tribe of people. The life we build with our families becomes a sort of country with its own culture and language and traditions. Those are things we can carry in our hearts, regardless of the structure we dwell in at the time. And so that saying expresses our belief that homes are really a possession of our hearts, far more than a structure or the tangible things we might fill them with.
I think there is Biblical backing for this concept too. Ephesians 3:17 reminds me that ‘Christ will make his home in your heart as you trust in him.’ (NLT) In this verse, Paul was revealing to the Gentiles in Ephesus God’s mysterious master plan, the Good News of salvation for everyone who belongs to Christ. He prays that Christ would move into their hearts to live and that each of them would have a rich realization of God’s deep-wide-long-high love. And he says that from this realization they would be made complete. It is His love that completes us, His love taking up residence in us that completes us. Just like the beds and couches and clothing and clutter could never be the things that make our houses a home, neither can our hearts be wholly fulfilled without the love of God living in us. Home is indeed where our Jesus-filled hearts are.
Luke 12:34 says that ‘The place where your treasure is, is the place you will most want to be, and end up being.’ (MSG) The place I most want to be. The thought of sitting at the feet of my Father, being loved with perfection and not a hint of dysfunction or condition, with a serious glint of delight in His eyes at the thought of ME, and to know that THIS is my life forevermore, with no other place to be or obligation to fulfill, to just BE with my Creator and my Treasure in adoration….can you imagine? Doesn’t that just make your heart nestle in to rest with a nice deep breath? If home is where the heart is and the heart is where my Savior resides, then I wait with confidence and longing for the place where I most want to be. Just the thought of it makes me exhale with anticipation, ‘Home, home at last.’
Looking toward home,